Sleeping Babies Should Not Look Like Turtles.

Sleep. It's not happenin', people. Not now. Not for the past 4+ months. Not ever.


Here's the thing. When I first started this whole 'mothering' business, I was all, 'No waaaaay I'm ever going to sleep in the same bed as my kid. My kids are going to be taught how to sleep like pros.'

Yeah, excuse me while I go bitch slap my past-self.

With Finn, things went pretty well. By 12 months the kid was a sleeping champ, naps and all. Sure we had to cry-it-out for a week, but thats the simplicity of only having one kid. You can do stuff like that and it doesn't totally ruin your life.

With Isla? Ha. Funny. I started co-sleeping with that little one in the hospital.

And you know what? She still (STILL) sleeps best when she's in the crook of my arm, thus imobilizing me for the entire night.

Let me tell you, not being able to move all night is torturous. I don't think I've ever been so passively aggressively mad at Luke in my whole life. Every morning I'm like, "Hey...how was your night? How'd you like sleeping on your LEFT SIDE THE WHOLE NIGHT?! Oh what? You got to turn over and sleep on your stomach? Rude. Just rude, Luke"

On a side note: Sorry, Luke.

Thankfully she sleeps in her crib from 8pm-midnight with no problems. But after that? Put her down and she rolls over onto her stomach and then just flails her arms and legs. She looks like a turtle.

Sleeping babies should not look like turtles.

And when she does sleep she literally burrows her face into the mattress. Greeeeat.

And then there's Finn. The other night he was up SEVEN times running down the hallway at 4am going, "Hiiiiiiiii!". He was so damn happy about it. And last night I panicked when he wasn't in his bed but lo, he was sleeping on the floor next to my side of the bed.

First of all, he was lucky I didn't step on his face.

Toddler beds. Gotta love giving kids their independence (who thought that was a good idea?!)

I don't know, but the good thing is that during the day (and during the night in Finn's case), I've got the happiest kids you ever saw. Isla is seriously the happiest little giggler I've ever come across. So it kind of makes up for it :)

Here are some pictures of those lil' hellions. Bless their sleepless hearts, they sure are cute.

 

Mom needs a less dorky haircut.

Finn needs a less dorky haircut.

The Big T-W-O

Two!

And he's acting like it, too. All day today all I've gotten is "no" "no" and then some more "no's". Way to usher in the terrible two's like a boss, kiddo.

He's great though...really. I promise.

His birthday party was a total bash. All the neighborhood kids showed up and there was cake and cookies and chips and basically all your junky foodstuff galore. We had it at a park but Finn was like, "Park whaaaat? Fooood!" I'm pretty sure his mouth was full of food the entire time. Which is fine because I'm pretty sure thats how I spend all of my birthday parties, too.

Pictures? Sure!

And after that we attempted family pictures. Yeah, none of those goin' up on this ol' blog because someone (who just turned two) wouldn't sit still for them. Any of them. We'll try again next weekend and maybe I'll sedate him or do it while he naps. I love the idea of him just sleeping in the background. I lol'd.

Something like that. Here's one picture we did get (sorry, Finn)

Other than that fun business, potty training is still totally hap-happenin'. He keeps asking to wear his 'undies' which I let him do only while we're at home because he hasn't quite mastered the whole 'go potty, like, every time you need to go' situation. But he goes on the potty all day so I'm happy and we're just taking it one day at a time.

Who thought going to the bathroom would be such a big freaking deal. Totally exhausting. 

And last but not least, smarty pants (that would be me) scheduled Finn's 24 month and Isla's 4 month doctor appointments on the same day at the same time to get it over with all at once...sooooo that should be a total disaster. What with Finn's total and complete meltdown at doctors' offices and both of them having to get shots. Yeah, real smart.

Why don't I reschedule, you ask? Because I like a challenge, yo! Bring it on!

Stuff..Whether You Like it Or Not...

My babies are so cute. AAAAAH (Sigh of love, right there).

Finn loves this girl in a big way. He loves it when she's happy and talking and points to her and says "Isla HAPPY!". He loves to get up all in her face and talk to her and she's always like, "whaaaaaat are you doing you crazy nut?"

Except in not so many words. There's a lot of facial communication going on.

And as you can see, hand holding is the newest development. If she fusses in her seat he grabs her hand and says, "Hiiii, its ok."

Whether she likes it or not. Usually not. 

So there's all that cuteness for ya.

Other than that, we're just doing some serious party planning for Finn's 2ND BIRTHDAY PARTY THIS WEEKEND. I've learned my lesson in holding massive get-togethers at el casa rebarchik and am opting to have it at a park where grungy-handed hooligans can get all sugar crazy somewhere they can run and jump and play without giving me a coniption fit in the process.

See? I'm learning.

So yeah, get yer party pants on and head on over!

Have I mentioned I'm glad that Finn isn't old enough to expect like, a massive, gift-laden party yet? I haven't gotten him anything yet and you better believe that when I do, its going to be books and clothes. Throw in some socks and undies I'm THAT mom. Yikes.

Anywho, there you go. Kids, party, cuteness. Isla is laughing like crazy nowadays. Seriously, she laughs like a crazy person so its hilarious for everyone. Unless you're Luke. She'll laugh for everyone except him...Sorry dude, obviously your stand-up needs some work.

She's also rolling over. And over. And over. She can roll across a room. She rolls over all night in her sleep and stresses me out because I don't like her sleeping on her stomach but she won't stay on her back. Oy. Even when she does end up sleeping, I still don't sleep. Life.

And Finn? Besides the party, we've also tackled the potty (excuse me while I high-five myself)...if you ask him what he does on the potty he says, "eat candy!". Yeah, queen of bribery right here. But guess what, he goes on the potty at least 3 times a day and for the first week, I'm calling that a mega-success.

 They're so handsome, no?

Humor You.

Two posts! One Night! You lucky things, you...

But really, I don't like to leave long, personal, post just sitting at the top with no anecdote to go with it. It gets sad and lonely up there. Plus, while the details of Finn's life is ever-entertaining for me, maybe you're not as obsessed with him as I am...and that's just fine. Because if you were...I don't know how I'd feel about that.

Also, I'm feeling creative. And I'm reading Revolutionary Road and it's bumming me out in a big way so I thought I'd share a funny store to cheer me up.

As usual, I digress.

So today I hosted the weekly neighborhood playgroup. Holy hell, it was almost nightmare-ish. I say almost because while there were like, 30 kids ages 1-5 running around my living room, dumping toys everywhere and putting their hands on my windows that I JUST PAYED TO HAVE PROFESSIONALLY CLEANED...ahem...they all did clean up in the end so the lasting impact on the house was minimal. The impact on my nerves, not so minimal.

That was a total tangent, FYI. I hosted this playgroup which meant I wasn't able to go for a run in the morning. Which meant that I was totally bumming around in my skivvies instead of my running clothes all morning. I'm a homeowner now! You can't stop me!

So I open the garage door and Finn makes a break for it. This kid can run like his grandma. Which, out of context, would make him seem slow, but do you know who my mom is? Google that crap. Anywho, I go to chase him and then I'm like, Shoot, I'm not wearing, like, real clothes.

And Finn is running around the driveway. And I KNOW he's about to make his mad dash down the street like he usually does.

And then there's me. Super mom. Undies. Yeah.

This is where I'D LOVE to say my obedient child listened to all my begging and pleading and asking and threats and came inside. He didn't.

I offered him gum (his fave. Is that bad? Yeah. Ok. Noted.), I started to close the garage door thinking he'd panic and run inside. No dice.

I asked nicely.

I didn't want to leave him unsupervised to go get dressed so I did what every awesome person does.

Bribe him with cookies and frosting.

Worked like a charm.

And let me tell you, giving a two year old pure sugar at 9am is totally legit if it means you didn't have to flash the neighbors.

Finn!!

Ah, yes, my little bundle of endless energy, endless conversation, and endless antics.

He's the handful, people.

Let me tell you all about how this lil' man is growing up:

- Favorite phrases: " I fast! (when he's running...usually in the opposite direction of me). I dance! I talk! I read! I hug! You get the picture. It's all about him. Either that or he's spewing ideas for new Apple products...

- Holy crap, this kid talks up a storm. All day long he tells me all about the mail truck that he saw yesterday and the trash truck he is looking forward to seeing on Monday. He tells me about how he loves Isla and mommy and daddy and grandma and Nick (once he starts talking about family members he goes through the list of everyone).

Basically, he likes to relate to me everything that is going on, has gone on or will ever go on. He knows a ton of words and can string together some pretty good sentences. He repeats everything I say (swear words definitely included. He dropped a PERFECT F-bomb the other day. But NOT because I'm a terrible parent. I asked him his name and he started to say Finn and then saw a truck. Finn + truck = Yeah. Good gracious.) and is really articulate and clear. I love that he takes in EVERYTHING going on and tells me or Luke about it and even remembers and talks about it a few days later.
 
It never gets old. (ha! that's a joke...silence is golden at the end of the day, trust me.)

All in all I think he's a pretty smart cookie.

- He knows his ABC's like a boss. Not in order, but he can point out A-Z like nobody's business. Except V, and Z...but everyone knows those letters don't matter anyways. 

- He's got two of his two-year molars...those bad boys were probably the source of his cold/ear infection last month. The devils.

- He takes my phone and points it at Isla and says 'cheeeeese!'. Apparently he's caught on that my phone takes pictures. He points at me and his dog too, because we're all so photogenic like that and he just wants to capture that. I cannot, however, take a picture of him because he HAS TO HOLD THE CAMERA. Has to.

HAS. to.

- He's moved into his toddler bed (aka his crib with a toddler rail on it). I don't even think he knows that he can get out because he wakes up in the morning and just chills out until I drag my tired butt out of bed to get him....and by drag MY butt...I mean kick Luke's butt out of bed to go get him. Either way, someone is getting him and that's all that matters, right?

Right.

- If you ask him how old he is he says 'twoooooo!' and holds up two fingers as best he can. Close enough! Three more weeks!

-Whenever he picks up his shoes he says, 'eeeeeeew!' I don't understand it. They smell, but not that bad.

- He loves reading books and being read to. I think I've read 'The Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly' like a bajillion times. She dies at the end, by the way. Sorry if I've ruined it for you. Deal with it.

- He loves his wittle sister with a passion (when he actually pays attention to her). The hugs and kisses that girl endures during the day makes me think she's probably a lot tougher than I might give her credit for.

- If he wants to do something with me but I'm holding Isla, he pats her bouncy chair and says, "Isla! Chair! Outside!". Yes sir, right away...big brother mentality right there.

- P.S. He got a haircut the other day (something he still reminds me of on a day to day basis) and he didn't cry until he barfed for the first time ever as far as getting a haircut goes. I don't think the hair dresser knew how lucky she was.  And for that I low-balled her on the tip. Sorry!

- P.P.S. Luke got a haircut and Finn noticed before I did. He was actually the one that told me. I feel ashamed. And proud. And ashamed again. Sorry, Luke.

He wanted me to take a picture of his dog but I was sneaky sneaky and got him instead. He looks tired and bit disheveled but he just woke up from his nap and he takes his naps seriously.

3 months :)

Isla is 3 months oooooold! And isn't she just a total peach? Ah, I love this girly so much.

What 3 months has brought us:

-I call her my super smiler. She smiles. A lot. And at everybody. Her smile lights up a room, its adorable. She does not, however, smile at Finn. She gives him a face that looks more like, "I'm tired of your antics, dude." That's my girl.

-She reaches and grabs things dangling in front of her. She's got pretty good aim, too. She also puts her hands in her mouth. All in all, I guess what I'm saying is, she found her hands and is figuring out what they do. Babies. So silly.

-She laughs at who-knows-what. I hear her laughing most often when she's left in a room by herself or I've turned around and no one is paying attention to her. She is obviously easily amused.

- She can ALMOST roll from her back to her tummy. Whaaat? Finn couldn't do that until he was like, 7 months old. Super star. She does it at night so she can sleep on her side.

-She has never really ever slept more than 4 hours at a time at night and she naps in 30 minute increments during the day. Tortuuuuuure.

Basically though, she's a fantastic, chubby little girl who squeaks and coos and does all the little baby things that I am totally eating up and loving.  

And Finn? He's almost TWO! And if you ask him how old he is, he holds up two fingers and says "twooooo" He'll be getting a detailed post in the next day or so because there are a few things he doesn't like sharing with his sister and those are: toys, pacifiers and blog posts.

But here's a picture of him "driving" a fire truck. BEST DAY EVER for this kid. He is obsessed with anything that has wheels so this was a big effing deal, yo. And he'll tell you all about it.

Finished!

Y'all are gonna get a photo dump today. TGIF!

I felt like I left the last post unfinished. Like, I know there was someone out there going, "Ummm...why didn't she put the rest of the house pictures up?! What a bitch"

And to that person I say, "First of all, don't be rude. Second of all...I totally understand. So here you go."

 Note the sleeping baby :) Our living room. BTW, we do have a TV. We're not totally Amish, I'm just standing next to it.

The beautiful bright hallway upstairs with the bedrooms.

The master bedroom. Definitely needs some pizazz, right? Not just a mega-huge mirror... We can't really do a headboard with the window...Pintrest, don't fail me now!!

The dining room!

There you go. I never leave a job unfinished!