When Push Comes To Shove...

Ask me what it's like to be the mother of a near-toddler...go ahead, ask away. I dare you.

While fun and exciting, it's totally exhausting. The whole pay-attention-to-one-thing-for-an-extended-period-of-time zone in my brain is gasping for air.

And now, I'm feeling like that mom. The one you look at, pre-parenthood, and think, "Why is she telling her kid 'no' all the time?! Doesn't she instill manners and discipline into that child! Pssh! I'm gonna go out to a movie and then sleep in until 9am...ain't life grand?"

Oh, those naive whippersnappers. But really, if he's going to keep grabbing power cords and climbing stairs and poking around light sockets and climbing on the stone fireplace... 'No' is gonna happen and it ain't gonna be pretty.

Segue, anyone? Nope. Ok.

I also think he's going to be a furniture mover...

See all those chairs scattered around my beautisimous kitchen?
And don't you love the blue color I picked out for the accent walls? I'm proud of myself.


That would be Finn's doing. Yep, even that one in the top right corner. He may love it and he may be (surprisingly) good at it, but it makes a godawful noise on the tile that drives me absolutely batty so I'm hoping he'll just start moving the couches on carpet instead.

See it in action, yo

And last but certainly not least in the developmental world of my fantastic 9.5 month old is his new omnivoric status. I was skeptical but hey, if he likes meat, he likes meat. He's a manly man like that. I make him eat fruit and cottage cheese in the morning to balance it out. A feminine touch never hurt anyone :)

His first passport picture! Was it photoshopped? Yes! Will it get accepted. Probably not!

Jumpin' in the Deep End.

I've got a job interview on Monday.

I'm usually very reticent to tell people about my upcoming interviews because I'm afraid that when they ask how it went, I'll have to tell them the truth like, "Yeah, apparently they saw through my feigned enthusiasm and chose the chick straight outta high school who probably didn't smell like baby formula. I can't believe I put my Spanx on for nothing."

Nobody wants to have that conversation.

But now you know.

But seriously, I'm not looking to get all corporate on y'all. I'm not going to start blogging about the bottom line and how so-and-so from the sales division is gettin' all up in my business.

No. I just want to re-enter society for a couple of hours a day and talk to people who don't drool or poop in response.

Yeah...that'd be nice.

So now I've got my blazer picked out and a pair of pumps that my mom deemed "not too slutty." But let's face it, she thinks anything with a heel is something out of "Pretty Woman".


I'm hoping my career choices work out a little better though...

I Amlost Ran a 5k...

Almost being the key word, there.

My thought process went a little something like, "Hey! I know how to run! I can do it without falling over, sometimes! I should run a 5k!"

That's good logic, in my book. If you can sort of do something, why not do it at a competition of sorts!?

But then last night hit...the night before the big day... and I had to do some deep, deep soul searching. Which brought on some not-so-positive realizations...

Yes, I can run everyday but a.) I am not fast; b.) I kind of limp while I do it and; c.) I'm not very fast.

And all y'all competitive runners out there know, if you're going to run a race, you want to be fast. Or at least that's the dream...

I also realized that the last 5k road race I ran was a sub 20:00...and shortly before that I had run a 18:36 5k road race. This was about 5 years, 1 kid, and few pounds ago.

And I probably won't relive that glory. Even if I really tried.

Side note: I think I may have exited the "game" on a high note and I think maybe it's a good idea to leave it that way...saving face and all that.

In any case, it was a close call.

Less like this...


More like this...figuratively speaking, that is. I'm not really a tortoise. Promise.

3/4

Three quarters of a Y E A R!!!

Or 9 months for the math impaired...don't be ashamed. I'm one of you.

So yeah, the kiddo is a whopping nine months old and lovin' it (I hope)!

The biggest milestone thus far, you ask?

Chompers... Well, one chomper...A tooth, that is. And on our anniversary, no less. It's one of the weird top teeth...just to the right of what I'm sure will soon be his front tooth. But hey, I'm not complaining. It could be coming out his ear for all I care because at least its there, right?

He's also progressed on his walking skills (crawling is soooo yesterday). Have a couch nearby? An ottoman? Yeah, he'll show you his mad skills and walk around that for you. Like a boss. Don't have a couch or ottoman? You're missing out. And what are you sitting on??

Here's a video for your viewing pleasure

He's also upgraded to a little walker with wheels (toys are soooo yesterday) that he can stand up and walk around the living room or sit on it and have me push him. He's loving the latter and figuring out the former.

And besides loving this new "outdoors" business (thank you, weather) life is just keeps on keepin' on. In a good way.


This is his "I'm going to walk as soon as you put down the camera" look

I'm a motorist!

Wanna Hear a Story?

Gather 'round everyone...it's story time:

Boy meets Girl (at the midnight showing of 300 no less). Boy + Girl= BFFs.

Boy asks Girl out and in true BYU tradition they get engaged 6 months later.

2 months after that, Girl drags her whole family from California through the middle of no where, only to find floods, tornadoes and even worse a "town" where everyone dresses up as pioneers and *gasp!* there is no cell phone reception...all so they can wait outside some building while Boy and Girl tie the knot.

Side note: Sorry 'bout that, family!!!

3 years and 1 kid later, Boy (or should I say, MAN! :))and Girl are still totally BFFs:

Happy 3 Year Anniversary to us :)

What They Call A "Nut Job"

Making baby food from scratch is the topic of the day...and is also probably going to be the reason I'll be hitting the mental institution a little earlier than expected (it was inevitable, right?).

Now that Finn is a 100% formula boy now (read: he's no longer on the "boob juice") I decided that, to ease my transition out of "food provider", I would be super Martha Stewart-y and commit some fraud-based crime...just kidding! I actually decided that I'd start cooking Finn's food instead of buying the pre-made stuff.

Cooking for me and Luke? No biggie. I don't think Luke would bat an eyelid if we had spaghetti ever day for the rest of his life (which we might, after all this stress)...but Finn? I feel like I have to provide him with every single nutrient that has ever existed lest he waste away from some sort of malnutrition while everyone casts a very dissaproving look at the person to blame (i.e. Me).

That's a lot of responsibility.

And its driving me crazy. It is just way too much pressure...I can't do it.

But I must.

I must be the responsible adult. Not the sobbing heap of a used-to-be-normal-person slumped over a pot of boiling water which contains every vegetable known to man like I have been after every attempt of this cooking business.

But today, I slumped over in victory (and exhaustion) over THREE different kinds of hopefully-edible food that Finn will most likely spit out. But victorious nonetheless.


Success!....nasty looking success!

This is Why I Can't Have Nice Things...

I used to think my Nook Color was the coolest. Like, cooler than Bear Grylls, cool. It was infatuation at its best.

Note the was. Past tense.

I used to dream about what I would be willing to do to have one in my possession. All that stuff they used to do on Fear Factor? Yeah, I would have done that.

Well, maybe not all of that. But some of it.

Maybe.

But you get the point.

(is anybody else glad that show isn't on anymore? Grossfest)

But now that I actually have a Nook in my possession.(And all I had to do was ask for it. No eating bugs or jumping into a vat of scorpion urine required.) all that it seems to do is FAIL.

First of all, it needs to stop telling me that the book I am attempting to read is in the wrong format. I bought it from the nook store... online...on the internet it provided. And magazines? They look awesome but every time I try and open my new Parenting Magazine (Wow. That says a lot about me. Shoot.) it randomly turns off.

Not cool, Nook. Not cool.

And now, it won't charge unless I'm holding it, standing at a 90 degree angle from the sun, with one foot in the air and my thumbs pointing west...and only if I'm using the the charger for my cell phone.

You're killing me smalls!

So, I'm trading it in.

It really left me no other option. I'm going to get a new "magic reading device" as I like to call it, and hope that this ruiner-of-dreams goes to the place where all defective Nook Colors go to die.

Sounds harsh, huh? I guess that is what happens when a book geek depends on something electronic for literature. Book geeks, English majors, literature buffs....we show no mercy.


This is basically all it's good for, now...

P.S. Luke called this post "complain-y"...aka whiney. But it really isn't helping the mood of this blog when some jackasses right outside Finn's window (basically) think its totally cool and groovy to mow their lawns and honk their car horns at 835pm when its already taken me 20 minutes to get the guy to sleep. I needed to vent.

P.P.S. My mom has just informed me that 'Fear Factor' will, in fact, be coming back on air...as if my mood wasn't bad enough.

Family Run...Kind Of....

Yesterday I had an epiphany of sorts. Kind of like this:

"You know what would be a great idea?! A family run! Everybody loves running, right? Right?!"

The fine weather this morning was like a sign from above that this had to happen. HAD to.

Want to know why this run was a bad idea?

1. I'm injured. I literally limp around Cedar Hills every day with my head down in an attempt to salvage any dignity...because lets face it, anyone who sees a gimp running (very slowly) down the road in a sweater covered with fresh baby vomit should feel a lot of pity for that person.

2. Luke's not really a runner. And when he does run, he doesn't enjoy it very much. Also, if you haven't noticed, he's A LOT taller than me. So when he runs he lopes like a giant and I look like a ridiculous elf shuffling after him. It also looks like he's stealing my baby and I'm chasing him. See?
Get back here with my baby, giant man!

3. Its unbelievably hilly 'round these parts. Like, we started out and Luke was all, "You really expect me to do this?" and I was like, "Why don't we just walk..."

Good times.

Here's what we looked like when we got back...
It wasn't really that bad, I swear.