Sleeping Babies Should Not Look Like Turtles.

Sleep. It's not happenin', people. Not now. Not for the past 4+ months. Not ever.


Here's the thing. When I first started this whole 'mothering' business, I was all, 'No waaaaay I'm ever going to sleep in the same bed as my kid. My kids are going to be taught how to sleep like pros.'

Yeah, excuse me while I go bitch slap my past-self.

With Finn, things went pretty well. By 12 months the kid was a sleeping champ, naps and all. Sure we had to cry-it-out for a week, but thats the simplicity of only having one kid. You can do stuff like that and it doesn't totally ruin your life.

With Isla? Ha. Funny. I started co-sleeping with that little one in the hospital.

And you know what? She still (STILL) sleeps best when she's in the crook of my arm, thus imobilizing me for the entire night.

Let me tell you, not being able to move all night is torturous. I don't think I've ever been so passively aggressively mad at Luke in my whole life. Every morning I'm like, "Hey...how was your night? How'd you like sleeping on your LEFT SIDE THE WHOLE NIGHT?! Oh what? You got to turn over and sleep on your stomach? Rude. Just rude, Luke"

On a side note: Sorry, Luke.

Thankfully she sleeps in her crib from 8pm-midnight with no problems. But after that? Put her down and she rolls over onto her stomach and then just flails her arms and legs. She looks like a turtle.

Sleeping babies should not look like turtles.

And when she does sleep she literally burrows her face into the mattress. Greeeeat.

And then there's Finn. The other night he was up SEVEN times running down the hallway at 4am going, "Hiiiiiiiii!". He was so damn happy about it. And last night I panicked when he wasn't in his bed but lo, he was sleeping on the floor next to my side of the bed.

First of all, he was lucky I didn't step on his face.

Toddler beds. Gotta love giving kids their independence (who thought that was a good idea?!)

I don't know, but the good thing is that during the day (and during the night in Finn's case), I've got the happiest kids you ever saw. Isla is seriously the happiest little giggler I've ever come across. So it kind of makes up for it :)

Here are some pictures of those lil' hellions. Bless their sleepless hearts, they sure are cute.

 

Mom needs a less dorky haircut.

Finn needs a less dorky haircut.