Grad School: A Comprehensive Introduction

Here is how my life works:

Before the first day of school: "Man, I'm so tired of being just a mom. I could have been somebody! I could have been a contender!...and besides being awesome at quoting On The Waterfront I'm also a little tired of these kids hanging off me all day. School is going to be the bestest."

After the first day of school (after I pick my brain off the effing floor): "I miss my kids. Oh, and I think maybe that's all I'm cut out for."

Take notes, people, because I just revealed how my brain works. Simple as that.

Those kids...always complicating things for me.

But alas, here I am, back at school. And I'm taking two beastly theory classes make me say and think things such as:

"Ummmmm"
"Uuuhhhh"
"Derrrrrrr"

And so on and so forth...

But really, all of these classes are super time consuming...like, I have to read books that are not of my choosing during times where I would rather be watching TV.

I know, right? Who thought grad school would be like that.

And yet, sadly, it is still coming as a total shock to my leisure-lovin' nighttime routine.

But hey! I'm looking fab at the same time! Win!

[As of right now, my photo uploader ain't workin' but Luke made me take a first-day-of-school picture...just imagine me looking fabulous. Done]

Also, coming up in this blog of mine: Isla is turning ONE in two weeks! And she is walking everywhere!!! Finn is a gymnastics super star! He also tells me that he wants to take me away in a garbage truck sooooooo...that's nice.

Look forward to it, people. Because it is happening.

My Knife Fight...

... with a gang of robbers. By which I mean a potato.

Annnyway, I was prepping some sweet potatoes for this tasty soup I was going to make, and as Luke has pointed out countless times, my veggie cutting technique needs a helluvalot of practice.

Case in point: This time when I sliced my thumb nearly all the way through. 'This time' meaning yesterday.

As soon as I saw how deep it was I RAN out of the room yelling for Luke and I believe the conversation went a lot like this:

"Luke, I've cut my thumb and I'm pretty sure I need stitches but I cannot look at it. Please don't make me look at. I seriously cannot look at it. I'm going to die." Dramatic.

So he guided me over to the sink and washed it off and it was at this point that my vision went a lot a bit white and the blood in my head sort of went away. But I did NOT pass out.

That's 1 for the knife. And 1 for me. Bam.

All the while Finn thought the blood that had gotten everywhere was pretty cool and I hazily remember him touching it. But soon we were in the car and then at the instacare place and guess who happens to walk in right after me?

That's right! A guy who cut his thumb with A CHAIN SAW.

Way to upstage me, jerk.

And yadda yadda yadda, I got some pretty manly stitches and the doctor was super nice (he said I seemed like a pretty good mom. Damn straight.) and we all got to go to Wendy's for dinner and everyone rejoiced because they didn't have to eat my healthy soup.

And hopefully you haven't just eaten dinner because here is the damage:

That shit is gnarly. 

There is literally, no other way to put it.

And as an update the thumb is still attached but it hurts because Isla keeps finding the bandage and squeezing it. Rude. And Nick's not even here to help. Rude-r. I'm also pretty excited about the scar that is going come of this bad boy.

Before and After: Landscape Edition

We're the DIY Warriors over at this house. Are you ready for it? You better be, because here it is.

Before:

Seriously, this is pretty effing close to what it looked like.

After:

Right?! Amazing (and look at that fine lookin' dog).

When we moved in, the back part of the fence had a half built wall going across at, and about 30 metric tons of gravel just hanging out and being groovy. There was also pile of bricks in the corner that went half way up the fence.

So that was cool.

The back corner had no grass whatsoever, and a huge pile of salt in the middle of it. 

Salt. About 10 gallons of it. Yep.

So we slowly got rid of all that crazy business, put grass seed down and then mulched the hell out of the back part and (as you can see) planted a beautiful array of shubbery.

Shrubbery. Like a boss.

I threw in two Japanese Maples and fellas, we've got ourselves a garden.

Right now I'm riding on that "We Did It!" high, but come talk to me in a week when I'm weeding  for two hours a day.

And while we're at it, here's the front of the house. We redid a lot of the garden there, too but its not as noticeable. We also have a little corner garden in the front that I can never get in the frame that I also did a lot of work on. 

But since I'm toooooo lazy to take a better picture, it's my secret garden. Yep, just like the book:

Take It Easy

So, when you're the mothership in a crazy nut-house like this one, there are days when things go so totally wrong it makes you want to run out the door only because you know that if someone looked inside and saw all the shennanigans inside they'd totally understand and not judge you.

Ahem.

Take the other day for example. I set Isla down in her crib sans diaper.

Worst. Mistake. Of. My. Life.

Finn alerted me to the problem after I had left the room for a quick moment and I came back to find her lovely (white) crib, lovely pink blanket AND lovely face covered in poo.

And everything else in the vicinity too, it seemed.

And then Luke came home and was all concerned because Jussi had gotten out and was strolling her bad self around the neighborhood and I had failed to notice.

When he saw the disaster zone he smartly let that one slide.

And then there was today. By 10am I had quickly and thoroughly convinced myself that I was, in fact, the worst mother ever.

Worse than Medea (nope, I take that back. Madea? Of the Tyler Perry variety? Only slightly better).

Finn was hitting and kicking everything, person and dog in sight. Isla was yelling at me and I didn't know why. I was yelling at everyone and didn't know why.

It was uncool, man.

And just when I thought things couldn't get worse, I had just spent 10 minutes putting Isla to bed only to come out and see that Finn had disappeared. When I called him all I heard was, 'I'm pooping!' and I hung my head in shame thinking I was about to come upon a disaster akin to the one previously mentioned.

But alas, no. He was on the toilet. All of his own, smart, mature accord.

And the heavens opened and the angels sang and handed me a well-deserved Diet Coke.

And was like, 'Thanks, angels. I needed that."

And then he took a nap. And then we went shopping. And I saved $30. And some lady gave my mom her $10 off coupon to Old Navy. And we got cookies. And 'pleases' and 'thank you's' were said.

And then we got home and Finn disappeared again only to be found en toilet once again on his own, doing the #2 thing.

And now I feel pretty awesome. And to solidify that easy, peaceful feeling I think I'll go eat a muffin and listen to the Eagles. Duh. 

So, with no further adieu a picture of Isla being awesome (and not covered in her own poo):

Well Shone, Moon.

I'm currently embroiled in a bedtime battle royale with Finn. He's become the master of tactical stalling at bedtime.

This kid knows how to do it, guys.

He only asks for things that are totally necessary (like going to the potty or a drink) so I have a hard time saying no...

But he when gets tired, he gets sloppy and starts asking for toys and I draw the line because I'm a real toughie and I also get pretty tired of all the two-year old BS.

Seriously though, I've gotten up like, 10 times since I started writing this.

Rargh.

Anywho, sometimes I get a creative wave and start decorating walls in this casa and it's a good feeling. In my office space I have a gallery of random art that goes across the entire wall.

It's my inspiration wall and I love it. I'll show it to you one day.

But recently, what with all my new school prepping and all, I've gone on a quote kick and here are the two new images in Finn and Jussi's rooms respectively:

Luke made this one for me...

 I'm smitten with my own creativity.

And since I'm obviously on a Midsummer kick, this is in Isla's room:

Aaah I love that play so much. It almost makes me sad that I've picked American Literature as the emphasis for my Master's. So much so that I might be still swayed to switch.

Also, I joined our neighborhood book club and I got to pick the book for April. Steven Millhauser's Dangerous Laughter.

In the Springville area come April 28th at 8pm? Want to read a book that WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE? Seriously feel free to come! I'm sure I'll bake up something delicious too.

Who are we kidding? I'll buy something delicious. 

Last but not least, I got my kids as dressed up as they'll ever be (for Easter's sake) and we took a one-shot chance at a family picture. Bam. Turned out great. First try:

We. Are. All. Fabulous.

One Flew Over This Cuckoo's Nest...

Apparently, if all is working correctly, you should be reading this on my new blog site, rebarchikitydo.com. 

Are you? Because Luke took the liberty of changing some stuff and I don't know why or how (specifically why) or if it is even working. In any case, I'm grateful...that '.blogspot.com' part was gettin' pretty old, huh?

So there you go, blogdom. Enjoy your stay.

Anywho, you've caught me in the midst of a fantastically frazzled week. It's a doozy and it's only Wednesday. No bueno.

Isla just cut four teeth. At once. Three on the top, one on the bottom. And two more made their appearance a week or two ago. They're still coming in and boy, is that girl sad about it. Add her first ever cold on top of that you've (I've) got a real snot-fest on our (my) hands.

So. That's gross.

Finn has also been throwing some serious attitude around recently, too. All day long he goes around flinging these little gems at me:

"No mommy! I tell you to go to your room!"
"No mommy! I tell you to go to the potty!"
"Mommy! Go time out!"

And so on and so on. 

Give your mom a break, kid...she's only, you know, providing the necessary elements for you to SURVIVE. Sheesh.

And as two year-olds are wont to do, the next minute he'll be giving me hugs and kisses and saying, "I love YOU, mommy...I love YOU". Or my new favorite, "Thank you so so SO much"

Whatever. It's like living in an honest-to-goodness nut house around here.

Thankfully, the boy is seriously potty-trained now so I don't feel like a total failure. We can do all-day outings with no pull-ups and no accidents. And that, friends, is how you know you've made it in life.

When you can go to the mall and no one in your party wets themselves. Sweet, sweet success.

Last but certainly not least, Jussi just got back from an overnight stay at the vet after getting ummm, 'fixed'. I thought dropping her off would be the easy part but Finn lost it when he saw strangers taking her away. He started bawling and yelling, "I want Jussi!"

It was seriously so sad...but at the same time a little bit happy because at least it means they're friends now, right? Silver linings all around!

And now I give you the pièce de résistance...the pictures. duh.

Isla is 10 months old today!

How Do You Pronounce That?

Vacashun?
Vacaytun?

Vacation! Ah, yes, that's the word. It's been so long since I've had one..

...ahem...

That was so cheesy I want to die.

Moving on! Luke and I are going on vacaaaaation. To Chicago. For a wedding. By ourselves.

Sans kiddos.

And while I vacillated for quite some time about whether or not we should bring those crazy hooligans along, I ultimately decided that ummmm...nope. Sorry, guys.

Bringing a 2 and 1 year-old on vacation isn't exactly tres romantique, is it?

May can't come fast enough and my mom is a baby-sitting saint.
 .....
In other news, Finn is approximately 85% potty-trained, guys (!).

No accidents in 3 days and we've been going out every day with no diaper on. It's legit!

He's getting better at telling me every time he needs to go which means this whole business is getting a little bit less exhausting.

I've also been doing some serious research on preschools for when he turns 3 this fall.

I mean, these places have waiting lists, enrollment deadlines. I have to compare tuitions. Serious stuff! I'm waiting to find one that requires a talent show or something to get in. It has to be out there.

(The thing is, his birthday is only TWO weeks after the cut-off for starting preschool at 3 kindergarten at 5. Basically, they tell me he better be pretty effing smart to start early or I can wait a year. Here's hoping he's ready to start early)

What I'm getting at is that with all these big new developments present and future, I'm feeling super-mature-mom-sy right now. And I'm loving it.

I'm not a big fan of the little baby phase (sorry, Isla...you're almost out of it :). This toddler, potty-trained, school-age stuff.

This is much better.

Speaking of Isla:

She's a great little trooper. Teething like a demon, but here's hoping she makes it through. I'm just hoping she makes it to her first birthday. The girl is a furniture climber. Climbing down? She's all about the tuck-and-roll kind of somersault. Stressful.

And Jussi? The never-mentioned hairy child of mine? She's getting huge but thankfully the weather is now warm enough for her to be outside all the time. Like big dogs should be.

Plus, we dropped some major cash on a huge dog house, so she better be outside in that thing. Gotta get my money's worth, right?